Maybe it's not all that bad...

Have you ever sat in your room, hiding under blankets, thinking about every stress & trouble & heartache you experience? It's so draining. Personally, it makes me never want to get out of bed. Eventually I do get up, get ready, & head to work (or wherever else I need to go that day). I try to surpass the stress & trouble & heartache, but at some point in the day, it trickles back to the front of my brain. Honestly, it's usually when someone says something stupid (or what I consider to be stupid) or rude or hurtful. It rushes everything back and I can't help but think my life stinks.

At the moment, I am listening to my Dad's tape recorder from when he and my Mom were in Haiti & a sermon he recorded at South East Christian. I hear about what happened on their mission trip with Water Step. I listen to the laughter & fellowship of the mission team. I am absorbed by the Creole words. I am lost in the words of the little boy (whose first language is not English) sing "Come, Now is the Time to Worship". I am overpowered by the African preacher who talks about what is prayer and how to pray. I realize my life, by no means, stinks. It can be stressful at times. I have troubles. I suffer heartache. But it doesn't stink. My life is wonderful because I have Jesus in my life. I have an awesome God for an Abba, Father, Daddy. My life is incredible!

Right now I am about to start my senior year of college. To be honest, I'm ready for it to be over. I'm ready to be done with school, get out in the "real world," and do something with my life besides sit in a classroom. But God's telling me, it's not time yet. I'm needed here. I am struggling with many difficulties right now, but I realize that even though it some of my situations may be terrible that God will get me through this. He can get me through anything. Everything.

I was on Pinterest the other day (imagine that) and I saw a post that said something a long the lines of "when it seems like God isn't there, remember the teacher is always silent during a test". Isn't that so true? Maybe if I sit still and in silence, He will give me some advice...some study habits to follow.

Today, I am needed on my campus. Tomorrow, I may be needed in Henry County. The day after that, I may be needed in Haiti. I have no idea. But God does. He has a mission for me and I'm ready to discover it. I'm not saying it will always be easy, but I know He is on my side...so life...maybe it's not that bad...

What I needed to hear

Hello viewers!

Please forgive me for the huge gap in time between my last post and this one. I was consumed with school, work, and..well...life. The few times I thought about posting, I wasn't sure what to write. I love to write something powerful and meaningful, but I let worry, fear, burden, and the priorities to human beings get in the way and I didn't post anything. This post may not be powerful nor meaningful to anyone except me, but I needed to say this, out loud, where other people can read/hear it. God is good. I have been reading Jesus Calling by Sarah Young (a gift from my pastor and his wife) and every time I open it, I feel like God is using Sarah to speak to me. The message is always about something I am currently battling. Today's passage was about trust. Yes, I say I trust God, as do many others, but do any of us really, truly, full-heartedly, trust God completely? I can't speak for you, but I cannot honestly say yes. I wish I could, but it would be a lie. Often I worry about what others think of me more than what God thinks of me. I sit here and plan for things that will not occur for five, even ten years. It makes the present a little brutal, but I do it anyways. Bad things keep happening in the present because I am too focused about tomorrow. Sarah quoted Joesph in today's passage saying to his brothers "You mean evil against me, but God meant it for good." No matter what happens in the future, how bad life becomes, how many tears I shed, how depressed I become, or how insane I go, God means everything for good. Satan loves kicking me (and everyone else) when I'm down and he's done that to me so much this year. I can't, no, I won't let him take my soul. I belong to God and I know that all of these hard times are the stepping stones to something greater. I hope all of you are touched by this like I was and we can help remind each other the importance of focusing on God and His never ending love!